Once you leave, can you ever go back?
Songwriting at the crossroads, an unreleased demo, and one of my favorite writing exercises from legendary songwriter Jeff Tweedy.
Leonard Cohen said being a songwriter is much like being a Catholic nun; ultimately, we are married to mystery.
Sometimes, inscrutably, I discover what a song “means” years after I’ve written it. The demo I’ve included today continues to take on new meaning for me.
It’s called, “Elbow in the Road.” Lyrics are below.
Please-please-pretty-please listen until the end because the outro is my absolute favorite.
Elbow in the Road The road feeds stories to me Scab-kneed philosophies I keep maps of city streets Sutured in my mind I lick stamps and envelopes Send word back to home They fear the farther I roam The less they’ll recognize I’m the elbow in the road, but it’s a broken bone I’m the driver of the train, can’t turn back again CHORUS No matter where I stray I know I will find a way No matter where I stray I know I will find a way No matter where I stray I know I will find a way No matter where I stray I know I will own my way It’s not what it used to be Stale fed mentalities I wonder if their questioning Says more of them than me I’m not who I used to be Cooled curiosities All roads fold into me Keep running through stop signs I’m the elbow in the road, but it’s a broken bone I’m the driver of the train, can’t turn back again REPEAT CHORUS OUTRO
Listening to this song is an extremely cinematic experience. I close my eyes and my ears settle on the “chug-a-chug” guitar rhythm. It takes me to a Westbound train. I envision myself sitting on the edge of an open train car, legs over the side, wind whipping my hair into knots, and rugged landscapes passing by. I’m filthy, hungry, lost, and deeply content.
There I am — a vagabond. This song is that part of me reckoning with and accepting the painful parts of that lifestyle.
Yes, I’ve fallen and spilled blood on the road. But at least it’s scabbed over into new philosophies.
Yes, I’ve had people speculate about my choices. But I have learned that it has a lot more to do with them than me. And I have to find my own way.
The road will always feed my curiosity for this world and the diverse people that occupy it.
Every single road folds into me. Today I am a living freeway junction, a composite of every stranger I’ve met, every mountaintop and valley I’ve crossed.
Once you leave, you can never go back… the same. That much is clear.
But can you go back at all?
Pull the brake on a hurdling train and metal, momentum, and memory grind against each other. Even then, it won’t stop for miles. Maybe stopping becomes just another form of traveling.
“Songs are a faint whisper from the future that pull from the past and seep into the present. A songwriter is the role of a medium, one eye in the now, one eye in memory, and a third eye focused on the other side of a thin veil of the future, trusting that it will somehow come together.” - Mary Gauthier, Saved by a Song
Years later, it’s all coming together for me now.
✧✧✧
As I have argued thus far, songwriting is a mysterious art form. And yet, there are ways to sweet-talk inspiration into showing up.
Curious how unique phrases like 'sutured in my mind' found their way into my song? I used the exercise below to write “Elbow in the Road.” I hope you’ll find it useful!
Exercise: Stealing Words from a Book
Adapted from Jeff Tweedy’s book: How to Write One Song. If you want to level-up your songwriting, I highly recommend purchasing it.
This is a clear, actionable method to write a song. It does not require “divine inspiration.”
Benefits of this Exercise:
Reduces pressure/perfectionism
Turns songwriting into a playful treasure hunt
Takes away “blank page anxiety”
Eliminates pressure to be “original”
Tricks your brain into making new word combinations and associations
Leads to surprising metaphors and imagery
Sparks new directions
Helps you choose words for their sound and feel rather than just their meaning
Builds a “stockpile” of potential lyrics
Time: 15-20 minutes
Materials: Any book, a highlighter, and your instrument (optional)
Instructions:
Choose a melody to work with
It can be an original melody you've created
Or borrow an existing melody you like (just for practice)
Pick any book and open to a random page
While humming your melody:
Scan the page casually, letting your eyes drift over the words
Watch for words that naturally "jump out" at you or seem to fit your melody
Don't try to read for meaning
Keep humming your melody consistently
When words catch your attention:
Write them down
Don't worry if they make sense together yet
Keep collecting words until you have a good collection of possibilities
Working with your "stolen" words:
Look for an "anchor word" that really fits your melody
Try finding rhyming words (using a rhyming dictionary or RhymeZone.com is okay!)
Start arranging words to fit your melody
Let a story naturally emerge
Important Tips:
Remember there are no wrong choices
Even professional songwriters use this exercise!
Don't overthink it - this is about collecting building blocks
Collect more words than you think you'll need
Keep the melody in focus while scanning
Save unused words for future songs (keep a note on your phone or a “word bank” notebook)
If you try out this exercise, let me know! Or if you use any other helpful exercises, let me know in the Comments.
That’s all for now chickos and chicklettes. Until next week!
PS Thanks to everyone who reached out to me last week. I’ve felt so supported, and I’m doing a bit better 💫
Absolute banger of a track.. i hope you perform this in nashville